My recently published article for busy mums..
It is a truth
universally acknowledged that a couple who are now proud parents of beautiful
babies might not be indulging in carnal pleasures as often as they would like!
There are various
reasons commonly cited for this state of affairs; pun not intended. It could be
the energy-sapping and highly physical activity of looking after young kids
whose lives are totally dependent upon you. Or it could well be that you are
hurtling from pillar to post trying to outsmart the 24 hour clock. Or it could
be that you and your partner have known each other for a while now and so there
is that common conclusion that the ‘discovering each other’ stage has formally
been laid…to rest.
While these are
perfectly understandable excuses (yes they are excuses and wait till you finish
this article before you throw that diaper on my head)…the fact is that we are
unaware of a whole heap of presumptions that are operating here below the
surface in our heads. Presumptions that come in the way of pleasure and intimacy.
Presumptions, due to their very nature, that remain, unchallenged and accepted
as the truth.
What are these
presumptions you ask? Well here are a few to rattle you, lets see how many
ticks you get in the list below- (Feel free to say it out loud and actually
hear yourself say it. It might feel strange but you are reading this hiding in
a cupboard anyway so there is nothing to lose!)
1.
‘There
is nothing new or exciting about him/her to discover!’
2.
‘I know him/her only too well!’
3.
‘It is a part of being a parent.’
4.
‘I can’t be bothered.’
5.
‘Sexual attraction does not last,
eventually it always fades’.
6.
‘
It is important that the children’s needs are met first’.
7.
‘I
am too tired!’
8.
‘
Honestly, I rather eat a chocolate muffin’ or ‘cake’.
9.
‘
Maybe when the children are older’.
So this list is not by any means
exhaustive (although it is absolutely exhausting reading it). Add your unique
twist to this list by all means. This list can be as long as the number of
parents who need to rekindle the old flames again.
Why are they presumptions you are
debating with a slightly threatening tone. Well because…
1. You
actually do not know your partner as well as you think you do. Just take this
for a fact and work from this point. For example, play a 20 questions game. Ask
him to have you guess 20 things about him that you do not know. Surprise
yourself! Take this game to bed. Whatever brought you and your partner together
still remains within you. Maybe a little dormant of late, but it can and will
be awakened as soon you are ready for it!
2. Acknowledge
all the little pleasures of your day and actively note it. Maybe you can keep a
Pleasure journal where all your daily pleasurable moments are recorded. It can
be really simple things. Like the sun on your face, the scent of your partner’s
favourite after-shave/perfume, your cat kneading on your tummy, swaying to soft
music while cooking, lighting a fragrant candle and sinking into a bath, eating
your favourite meal slowly, getting crafty and creating something…go on create
your list!
3. Why
the Pleasure Journal? Well the more pleasure you feel in your day, the more
aroused your senses are and the more ‘in the mood’ you will be with your
partner. Stress, Blame and Anger are your number one mood killers. More than
your packed day, it is your emotional reaction to it that is taking out the
pleasure from your day.
4. Begin
and end your day with Gratitude. When you can truly appreciate your life and
everything about it: the past, the present and your imminent future you appear
more attractive to your partner, you are vibrating at the frequency of joy and
love which in turn attracts more joy and love to you.
5. Get
physical. That means go for a walk or a short run. Treat your body like it is
your most valuable asset (which it is except we just don’t act like it). When
your body is buzzing and feeling good, your sex drive is not too far away.
6. Lastly, mix it up. Taking time out for pleasure can be varied each time. A quick unexpected one or
a planned one. Mix and match. Keep it free from routine.
Imagine
what this would mean for your kids??
I mean, 'Have you ever felt depressed or scared seeing your
parents happy and buzzing??' I am going to assume the negative. And so commit to this
for the sake of your children.
You will be exemplifying what it
really means to have your family so that when they grow up they can confidently
declare:
“My parents knew how to have fun, lust after each other and love us to
bits”. Sigh!
Already know this stuff but cannot apply this to your life? For clarity, confidence and practical tips please check out www.blissfulmantra.com.au where you can also subscribe to my channel and receive a weekly short training video absolutely free!
